Many people think the newspaper is dying, but apparently not Art Spiegelman, Chris Ware, Dan Clowes, Adrian Tomine, Micheal Chabon, Miranda July, Stephen King, Chip Kidd or any of the other dozens of contributors to McSweeney's #33, The San Francisco Panorama.
Some might say this isn't a newspaper at all because what kind of newspaper is 328 full-color pages with a 16-page comics section, book reviews, investigative journalism, pull-out posters and more? To those people we say, "shut up." Shut up and enjoy not one, but two contributions from Jon Adams.
Here's the first one: The Optimist.
To commemorate the end of the decade, we're having a completely relevant sale! Every single thing in our store is available at 50% off from now until the end of November. So for the next two weeks, all our products are half as valuable as they used to be. Or, to put it another way, anyone who purchased something last week is probably a little angry right now. To all those people: That's what you get for being so impulsive.
In our ongoing series of recreations of comic book covers for Rob Goodin's Covered Blog (see them all here), we offer this version of Superboy #1. At this size you may be unimpressed, but clicking on the images will enlarge them, thereby revealing all sorts of hidden experiences. No pressure though.
This past weekend was our fifth year attempting to convince strangers to purchase our products at the Alternative Press Expo. Those who refused, we followed into the parking lot and mugged. (It was their choice to do things the hard way.)
Aside from the debut of our still-available Anthology Anthology, we also debuted our very limited (and also still-available) Little People Toys poster. It's dozens of little people you can cut out and have your way with, no questions asked. If you'd like one, it's not too late. They're in our store, and look like this:
"Now that I've met Jon Adams, it's okay if I die – even if the death should be slow and painful and even if I have young children," is a sentiment commonly expressed by those who have spent just minutes with Jon.
You too can experience such a feeling if you attend the Alternative Press Expo this weekend (Oct. 17-18), where we'll be exhibiting across from Slave Labor Graphics. Stop by and there's a chance Jon will look at you, or, if you're holding a large amount of cash, even talk to you. When you walk away, it's unlikely you'll be able to conceive of a moment surpassing what you've just been a part of.
We'll be debuting our limited edition Anthology Anthology. It's 36 pages of comics from various anthologies, all drawn by Jon. Included is the illegal-to-reprint Lunch Break from Star Wars Tales #16. (Please don't tell George Lucas or Dark Horse Comics.) The book also features a brand new Truth Serum short story!
If you can't attend APE, you can still get a copy of Anthology Anthology right here (while supplies last).
Earlier this year we presented our efforts for the Ryan Montbleau solo tour poster. Now we offer this companiion piece, a CD of songs from that very tour, designed and illustrated by Jon Adams. Many of you may say, "I don't care about this, because whoever Ryan Montbleau is, he most certainly isn't Janet Jackson." And that's true. But with amazing advances in medical science and an increasing drive for people to be famous, there's every chance Ryan will physically become Janet Jackson. Anyway, let's quick this bickering. You can buy future Janet Jackson's CD here if you'd like.
Here are three recent works. If they're too small for your tastes, clicking on them will make this whole experience much more palpable.
First up is a comic book cover recreation of the balding monster-girl known as Little Lulu. See it side by side with the original over at the Covered Blog. (For those of you with ugly tendencies, the original doesn't offer any better view at her old-timey undergarments.)
The second, for Kevin Church, is a commission of J. Jonah Jameson, asleep and dreaming of things too dark to be considered for his waking life. Oh, J. Jonah, Jameson, when will you admit that without Spider-Man you don't know who you are?
Lastly we have The Rumpus Music Comedy Night Poster. It's a poster for the Rumpus Music Comedy Night, in case that wasn't clear from the title.
At the age of 17 I began working at an independent comic company in my home town. It was a strange cast of characters. Gary ran the place and had what looked like a combover, only he wasn't bald. Zoe was my editor but couldn't draw nearly as well as me. Andy invented Glo-Flex. There was an inker who brought his girlfriend to all our meetings, and she never spoke. Davit would walk up and down the halls speaking tongues. Then there was Joe. Oh, Joe. He came around the corner wringing his hands once and shaking as though he'd just killed something. I stayed in a hotel with him and witnessed his skidmarked long-johns. Another time he spoke of a dream he had where he fell down a shaft of flesh that eventually turned into penises. But this isn't about Joe.
Aside from the weekly Truth Serum comic, we also produce a monthly exclusive to Dark Horse comics. If you've read it, then you're already familiar with the digital wonders it has brough to your life. If this is the first you're hearing of it, you'll now understand why everyone around you is so happy and your life is steeped in misery and sorrow. At least, it used to be. Experience true joy with the last year's worth of comics, linked below.
1. Problem Solved
2. Bury It
3. Cough, Cough
4. Jewish Thing
5. Sending Out the Invitations
6. Pre Post Intelligence
8. A Very Accepting Man
9. Goodbye, Prince Whiskers, Hello, Money
10. Name Change
11. Minus One More
Earlier this year we revealed the widely regarded Birth of Stan Lee. Now it's available in the form of a beautiful postcard, design and illustrated by Jon Adams. Perfect for sending erotic missives to that long-distance relationship. For our male readers: cut Stan out of the postcard and have your way with it. There's literally nothing you can't do with this postcard!
For fans of Superman archetypes, here's a drawing of Shazam, or Captain Marvel, or whoever his convoluted legal history dictates he is. If you'd like to own one of these in real life, it appeared in a recent issue of Alter Ego magazine, although in the less popular black and white format. Here it is now, in full color.
Click the image to see an even sexier (larger) view of that weird pink guy in his underwear.
Comics legend and incredibly nice guy (way nicer than you, seriously, it's nothing against you – he's just that nice) Kevin Nowlan recently did this litle sketch of Truth Serum's Don Sequitur. Maybe if you did some sketches of Don Sequitur we'd like you a little better.
Hey, look. It's a drawing of Spider-Man.
Two years ago we mentioned The Legacy, our upcoming project with Al Columbia. It's been an upsetting and lengthy process, but one we've stuck with because we believe in the project. It's a comic unlike any other, sure to redefine the art form. Just like the time Paul Pope destroyed comics so he could rebuild them, The Legacy is going to destroy comics, rebuild them, put a hat on them, then destroy them again, then bake them into a pie and eat it. Now you understand what this project means.
We've put so much into The Legacy. Thousand of character studies have been done (one is pictured above – Sir Duckington), hours have been spent in discussion, marketing plans have been devised, investors have pulled out. It's been trying. But the biggest problem has been Al Columbia. We'll let the words speak for themselves in the following email exchange between Al and Jon Adams.
If you should happen to be in the San Francisco area August 10th, take the opportunity to attend the monthly Rumpus event, hosted by Isaac Fitzgerald. As this poster we made implies, there's a good chance Isaac will appear naked, yellow, and bloated. No guarantees though.
Soon available to book-buyers (nerds) and gift-buyers (friends of nerds) everywhere will be My Dog Ate My Nobel Prize: The Fabricated Memoirs of Jeff Martin from Soft Skull Press.
Fabricated memoirs are the new thing. Newer than Twitter and harem pants. Best of all, this fabricated memoir has illustrations, a cover and book design by your favoritest, Jon Adams. Even the New Yorker likes it, as it's featured in their 'Well Titled, Well Covered' section. And we thought they were just a bunch of curmudgeonly old people who never liked anything by youngsters.
Author James Fry said of this book, "Jeff Martin is a first class liar. Even better than me." Seriously. He said that.
You need no longer risk the threat of paper cuts and the jeers of those more technologically advanced than you. Truth Serum: The Lonely Parade is now available on the Kindle. What it may lack in a color section and a perforated form that folds out of the book, it makes up for in half-the-priceness. We had to make a few changes for this version, and managed to include the phrase "Suck it, Kindle!"
Yes, a portion of the above image is reappropriated from an earlier post. But don't let that distract you from buying the Kindle version of The Lonely Parade, or even the print version, which is superior in every regard (and of which Amazon doesn't take a 65% cut).
If you ever thought Rom: Space Knight deserved a spot on the Avengers, now's an opportunity to voice your opinion. Take a look at our contribution to Rob Goodin's Covered Blog. If you don't know what a Rom: Space Knight is, that's probably how it should be.
Update: Take a look at this cover over at Wired.
We mentioned earlier the forthcoming Awesome 2: Awesomer from Top Shelf. Now it exists, in real life, where one can touch and fondle in whatever manner one deems necessary, provided it is in the privacy of one's own home and not in front of my apartment like that drifter and the Charlie Brown pillowcase he keeps in his pants.
Anyway, this 208-page anthology is designed by Jon Adams with a cover by Jeff Smith and back cover by Roger Langridge. Jon also contributes three short stories (one drawn by Rob Goodin and a second by Rob Walton). Also, there's a mini comic inside! Here's what the book looks like if you were to stand it on end, then open it, then skip past all the comics to the mini comic.
And here's the complete short story Rob Walton illustrated. It features several characters (who absolutely don't belong to Disney) learning all about copyright.
In keeping with our theme of alerting you to books you will never own, here's the latest. It's Minerva's Wreck, an over-sized arts anthology from Austin-based writer Wayne Alan Brenner. It's full of comics, writings and about a dozen varied objects that spill out upon opening. There's even a piece by a young Paul Pope. If you'd like a copy, too bad. It's not for sale.
We contributed a two-page story which was emailed to subscribers of our newsletter. That last sentence is a subtle hint that you should subscribe, and then such wonders can be yours as well, albeit in PDF form.
Now you can fill our website with all kinds of typos, indecipherable acronyms and your terribly important thoughts. We've opened comments on the individual comics pages, like this week's comic. Please don't type jerky things or links to free diamond websites.
Saturday, June 6th is the day all your dreams will come true. Assuming you have only one dream, and that dream is to meet Jon Adams. And assuming you'll be in New York City attending MoCCA, because that's where Jon will be, probably spending most of his time around the Indie Spinner Rack table.
Also, debuting at MoCCA will be Top Shelf and Indie Spinner Rack's Awesome 2: Awesomer anthology, which Jon designed. It's 208 pages of comics with a Jeff Smith cover and mini comic inside. And if you're determined enough, the whole thing is edible.
With the help of several absolutely real scientists, historians, and gynecologists (and a friendly woman behind a gas station), we've been able to recreate this completely authentic depiction of what the birth of Marvel icon Stan Lee probably looked like.
Some may argue he would not have been a miniature old man when born. Others may say getting clothes inside a womb is too difficult, and onto a baby almost impossible. But are you really going to believe someone who doesn't have a drawing to back up their theory?
UPDATE: This is now a postcard!
Over on Rob Goodin's Covered blog we offer another in a series of recreated comic covers that probably shouldn't be recreated. Last time it was an ill-fated attempt at Jim Woodring's Frank. This time it's Al Columbia's Biologic Show.
826 Valencia is a place where Jon Adams has spent far too much time illustrating books on the spot, written by children attending as part of a field trip. Recently Jon completed his 100th book – a book about a rainbow, a dog composed partly of fire, and super monkeys. Past books have included all variety of pirates, monsters, skinless turtles, multiple-headed animals, and one ill-fated cow. Here's what a pile of 100 books looks like. (There are many underneath.)
If you like comics, in particular comics by Jon Adams, then you're sure to enjoy the following photographs. The first is Jon's contribution to the Fluke anthology. It's a single page extolling the virtues of self-experimentation in the name of unintentionally incestuous goals.
Next up is Jon's contribution the comics anthology, I Saw You..., a book about missed connections.
Do with this information what you will.
Here's a little something we did to accompany this article on The Rumpus. It's not intended to endorse the Kindle or imply books are weak and can't defend themselves against knife attacks. It's just meant to say sometimes one needs to pee, and if there's a murder victim in the way, so be it.
It is our firm belief that Free Comic Book Day should not be limited to a single day of the year. So we've teamed with the non-profit Free Free Comic Book Day for Everyone (or FFCBDE for short) to create an instructional pamphlet explaining how to make every day Free Comic Book Day. It begins with you.
In celebration of the one-year anniversary of the Truth Serum webcomic, several artists with nothing better to do have joined together to create guest strips for one week, beginning April 1st. Those contributing their varied and unimitable talents include J. Chris Campbell, Al Columbia, Dave Johnson, Sean Murphy, and Rob Walton. (A new strip will appear each day whether you want it to or not. Sorry, mom.)
Most scientists will argue that an octopus is really just a seahorse in disguise, and this poster for musician Ryan Montbleau pretty much confirms that theory. Don't listen to those who say a drawing does not constitute "proof." That's like saying Santa doesn't exist because we only have drawings of him.
This irrefutable evidence comes in the form of a screenprinted poster we made, available at any of Mr. Montbleau's upcoming solo shows.
Jon Adams is dying and it's Gary Busey's fault. But you can help save Jon by donating even just a dollar to 826 Valencia's Save a Volunteer from Extinction fundraiser.
Get ready to make your life slightly less unpleasant with the second Indie Spinner Rack anthology, Awesome 2: Awesomer. (You remember the first, dont you?) There are literally five reasons to pick this up, and here they are.
1. A cover by Jeff Smith. He draws way better than you!
2. Book design, and three short stories by Jon Adams (one drawn by Rob Goodin and another by Rob Walton). Jon has too much time on his hands!
3. A ton of other creators like Sarah Glidden, Ryan Dunlavey, Jeff Lemire, Alex Robinson, J. Chris Campbell, Alex Cahill, Joey Sayers, and Chris Schweizer. You're not in this!
4. A bonus mini comic. It's free, so you can't complain if the quality is poor!
5. Other stuff you can't even begin to imagine. Because your imagination is weak!
You can preorder it directly from Top Shelf, or through your local comic store via the latest issue of Previews.
Good news! There's yet another way for MySpace to insinuate itself into your life. MySpace Dark Horse Presents Volume 2 is in stores, and features art by your favorite friend, Jon Adams. Of course you could just read it online, but then you'd never get to lick or kiss the pages. And if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that you need more licking and kissing in your life.
If you're in Turkey (you probably aren't), pick up a copy of the latest issue of Bant magazine. It's got a feature on (as well as front and back interior covers by) Jon Adams. We're not sure what it says, because it's all in some foreign language, but it seems favorable. (Does anyone know what 'çizimlerinin üstüne' means?)
There are a lot of lonely people in the world, as our Valentine's activity for the SF Chronicle proved. We offered unattached readers a selection of paper-doll lovers to help cure their romantic woes. Those brave enough to appear in public with their paper date were encouraged to send us a photo. A winner was chosen and received a hand-drawn "hostile ex" of their chosen paper mate.
And here is that lonley winner Tibora, with her paper-date Tad (who for some reason has a woman's body and carries two decapitated heads). There's no guarantee their relationship will last, but at the very least they aren't alone.
In celebration of President's Day, we're now on deviantART. You're probably wondering what deviantART even has to do with President's Day. Maybe it's time for you to stop asking so many questions and just move on already. You know?
Happy Valentine's Day, especially to those of you whom no one loves! At least not in the kind of way that makes them want to do things to you when you're naked. For all of you, and anyone who enjoys infidelity, we've got something you need. It's a full-page spread in Saturday's SF Chronicle – a paper doll activity that allows you to create your very own lover. Each one comes with a short biography, like this:
FRANCIS He won a bowling trophy once (in his church raffle), so you'll literally be dating an award winner! When you introduce him, say, "This is my award-winning date." But if anyone asks what the award was for, quickly change the subject. Because sometimes that trophy is all Francis seems to talk about.
So if you're in the Bay Area, pick up a copy of the Chronicle and fall in love with a paper-mate for only 50 cents!
As a contribution to Rob Goodin's Covered blog, Jon Adams created his own version of Jim Woodring's Frank #1. Why would one choose to directly compare one's art to that of a genius like Jim Woodring? Probably because of low intelligence, or delusions of grandeur.
See the much larger versions at Covered.
If you're worried about the very likely attack of literate, urban chimp-gangs, you're not alone. Citizens everywhere are frightened of this new threat. It's replaced terrorists as America's greatest fear (followed by that Jim Davis sex-tape). But we must stop running from our fears, and instead, embrace them. And there's no better way to start than by wearing a shirt depicting one of these chimp-gang members. (Seen here is gang leader Mista Bubblez.)
Drawn by Jon Adams, these shirts are available in colors and styles for both men and women, over on the Sex and War website.
We received a number of wonderful holiday cards this season, and these are some of our favorites. Below, we have an amputated gingerbread man from Loud Dog, an enormous foil bird thing from Office, a revealing photo of Santa from our website-deficient friends Paul and Jess, a saddened snowman from Rob Goodin, and a terrifying but well-intentioned Santa robot from Kirk Van Wormer.
If you sent a card but don't see it featured here, rest assured we enjoyed receiving it. It's just that, you know, maybe you should try a little harder next year.